Being Your Own Somebody

My meaning in life was never determined.

The loading wheel constantly turned and the bar would always end up making it to 99 per cent before forcing me to reboot.

I grew up in a family where you could be anything you wanted, as long it was something you wanted, not those who influenced you.

Thing was, I never knew what I wanted. Or who I was for that matter.

I became something of a drifting ghost who never found rest. Never understood why the sun would keep coming back to her side of the world, where it always felt dark.

I lost an understanding of myself as everyone around me worked so hard to strengthen the foundation of a self they had already found.

Everyday I would do something someone else would deem ‘out of character’ and every day I would think - ‘I have a character trait?’

I let people hurt me, and tell me who I was going to be, and for the longest time I went for it.

Searching.

Lost and alone, I decided enough.

I brought the positive aspects of my life forward.

Today was a bad day, but today was also the day I did something good. Maybe not for myself, maybe I did something good for someone else because the day was not mine to make.

Someone once told me, “You can’t hold up your shield of faith if you’re looking down.”

You cannot adequately hold your arms strong above your head, with all the great things you are and strive to be, if you allow yourself to be beaten down by all the things that are going wrong.

Faith is an amazing thing. It can give you peace in ways you never thought before. It can lift your spirit up when your body weighs you down and it can bring you to a place you never could have imagined before.

If you need something to have faith in.

Try starting with you.