Friends

Hey guys, It’s Caleb!

I’m so sorry for not writing in a while but things are finally slowing down and I’m going to commit myself to one blog a week from here on out (hopefully). I miss you guys a lot and I’m extremely happy I can start writing to you guys again.

So this week I want to touch a little bit on my experience through life and what it means to be a friend to someone. I feel like a lot of people get caught up in trying to find people who will bring them further and forget to be a person that can potentially help someone else.

So, I grew up in a JK to Grade 12 school with only about 100 kids at any given time. I grew up in a family essentially and this is what I was used to and comfortable with. I didn’t really have any friends outside of my school or church at that time and I definitely didn’t go out of my way to make friends because I was comfortable with what I had and I was very insecure with who I was a person.

I was super skinny, super awkward I had a hard time formulating coherent sentences and I was always checking to make sure the back of my shirt covered my butt – I had issues with my butt being seen but that’s a talk we’ll have another time!

So with me being comfortable with my very accepting group, I never really learned what denial was either. I was behind the game in the real world.

Now a lot of you are probably thinking, “What does this have to do with how Caleb has made himself a good friend and is he even a good friend?” I’m getting there, promise.

So being behind the idea of what it meant to show yourself as friendly to people who might not necessarily like you was completely foreign and I didn’t even know it existed. I was very naive like your typical private Christian school student. That’s not to knock the school either, it taught me a lot of other values that a lot of people nowadays have no clue about, which is something else I’ll get to another time as well.

When I was in about Grade 6, I started playing competitive sports outside of the school with kids who went to public school. With that, came an exposure to a whole new concept – Trash talking.

Not only were these kids I didn’t know trash talking me, they were trash talking people who weren’t even in the room. Why would you ever talk about someone who wasn’t there and couldn’t defend themselves (this is how clueless of the real world I was)?

I remember there was another kid in the group who I had met who ended up being the butt-end of a lot of jokes as well, so naturally I shifted to hanging out with him a lot and got to know him. We became kind of a two-man team.

We really watched each other’s backs and I remember one time specifically, some of the guys were showering and my friend was in with them. They had started spitting on him and making fun of him. Well, that’s the first and only time I’ve fought a teammate.

I ran into the shower still half-dressed in my goalie equipment and jumped the kid who I knew would have been the one who started it all. I said no words, I gave no warning.

Afterwards, my friend and I left the dressing room. I was still kind of heated but when I looked over at him, he was crying. So I asked him what they hurt. What he said next will resonate and fire me up for the rest of my life.

“They didn’t hurt me, Caleb, you saved me. I’ve never had a friend who would ever do anything like that.”

To understand this fully, we had only known each other for about two months at this point and me coming from a very open and accepting background was astonished that someone didn’t have a friend who would stand up for them. So the impact his words had on me were life changing.

From that day on, I’ve purposed myself to be friendly to everyone and in all cases.

Caleb’s definition of a friend: someone who is willing to lay aside any selfish intention to help out or be there for another, even one you wouldn’t call a friend.

That may be a lot for some people. Some people have a hard time opening up to others and I completely understand.

One thing you should never do is shut yourself down from the opportunity of being a friend to someone else. You never know where someone is in there walk of life and you never know what a smile can do.

Fast-forward a few years to where I am now and I’ve lived through a lot more than the naïve Grade 6 year old me and I’ve definitely fallen short of what it means to be a friend. But I’m still growing and learning.

But, now I have the bestest friend ever (and she’s really pretty) and it’s because of my openness and ability to connect with people, even people who wouldn’t normally connect. It’s hard work and practice, and she’s a lot of hard work and practice (just kidding) but my best friend is amazing, and I’d just like to recognize Hailey Trealout. You’re a great influence and you push me every day. I love you and thank you so much!

Two things to remember when trying to be this ultimate friend to people though are never ever let yourself be taken advantage of (don’t worry if this is you, it literally happens to me every day) and never let your self be taken for granted (same for me).

These are things we need to keep in mind because we also have to be a friend to ourselves and make sure we don’t get hurt either.

Warning being said, being a friend is amazing. The people you meet, the stories you hear and the love you get to share are unquantifiable and no amount of things, money or anything at all can compare to the feeling when you have a genuine connection with another human being.

Every day my friend count is growing and that’s not to brag but to encourage you to be a friend as well.

Am I perfect? Pfft, not even close. Am I good at being a friend? Not always. But I put out the effort to try to smile at everyone and remember everyone’s struggling with something. I try to live by the words, “You have a friend in me.”

So my weekly challenge to all y’all would be to make a new friend! Simple enough, right? Go out there and make someone’s day, get to know them and get there contact info to stay in touch! Platonically my friends, my dating advice will come another time, maybe.

Anyways, I hope everyone can take away something from the ramblings of little ol’ me but I just want you to know, you DO have a friend in me! I’m always available if anyone needs anything and you can contact me through True Reflections. Just ask for the one and only Caleb Workman (there’s probably more but I’m the only one here, so you’ll find me).

I love you all so much, I hope you have a blessed week! You guys matter and I’m thinking of you all and wishing the best!