Acceptance of Self is Key

When I was in grade school, I got in detention once.

I'm going to say I got one detention that mattered, because the other detentions were due to me not bringing in a different pair of shoes for gym class.

I know what you're thinking.

"Oooooooh Hailey is bad to the bone! ONE DETENTION!"

It sounds dumb, almost as dumb as getting detention for not bringing gym shoes, but the reason for this one detention in particular is even more ridiculous, and yet, it taught me a valuable lesson.

My parents had me at a young age, and exposed me to a variety of good, but very different people - so, growing up, I learned I would meet a lot of people through my life.

Some people had a different skin colour than I did, others couldn't speak the same language I spoke as their first language. Some people were blonde, and others were brunette. Some people were good at things like chess and mathematics, while others were better at football and volleyball. One guy liked other men, while one of the girls liked men too... I promise I'm not getting off topic here.

Each of these people was different from one another, and as I grew up, I saw there were more differences people had that set them apart from everyone else.

Some people were tall, and others were short. Some people were skinny, others were heavier. Some people were shy, and others were outgoing.

The real differences between people, however, was how they processed these differences.

Differences, make day to day life far from average.

If we were all the same, down to the last DNA strand, what would we have left to give us individuality? You think you're alone now, what do you think it would be like if the person next to you already knew what you were thinking without you having to say a word and vice versa... therefore leaving you both in silence?

So is it fair to single someone out for their individuality?

That's where my first (and only relevant) detention comes into play.

Between grades six and seven, there was a boy who transferred to my school. He was nice, funny and liked to keep to himself.

A few times, he was caught skipping (like happily hopping) to the water fountain. When he eventually started making friends, people began to notice all of his friends, were girls. When he spoke, his voice had a happy swing to it, like nothing could possibly ruin his day - even if he was talking about the dreaded math homework.

Eventually, all of these little things, gave the new boy a title.

He was called gay constantly, even though he insisted he wasn't. It got to the point where he pleaded so much, that he eventually gave up - easier to go with them than to go against them I guess. He accepted the names and the jokes and went with it. With the biggest smile on his face.

Whether he really was gay or not was not the point. The point was even after he started going with it, other people didn't accept it like he thought they would - he became their next target, they wanted to see him get to his breaking point.

One day, where his breaking point may have been, mine took it's place.

Tired of seeing the same scene over and over, I waited for the same group of boys to walk up to this kid at recess and dig into him with their verbal abuse.

When it finally happened - I didn't waste time to earn my detention.

They said their piece and waited for this boy to react. Instead, they received my reaction. Fists tight, and throat dry, I turned on them like a bull in a pit. Ready for a fight, I said what I thought; I said everything on my mind and didn't hold back.

We are all different, we all deserve to be happy with who we are and after that awkward time in the teenage years, we deserve the right to take back all that self hate, all that uncertainty with our lives, all that heartache because we're not as pretty as the girl across the street, and accept we're our own kind of beautiful because we AREN'T like that girl across the street, and so what if we have several freckles, are boys who love other boys, have blue skin, wear weird clothes or don't watch the same t.v. shows as everyone else... We are exactly who we're supposed to be.

Anyone who doesn't like it doesn't have to stay. The rest of the playground is in the opposite direction.

A few of my friends joined me as I told those boys to find themselves a new hobby - because picking on someone else was out of the question and threatened to come back if they went against my wish. I said it all, and as the recess monitor approached me with a stern look on her face, I turned from their dropped jaws, with a smile on my face, and headed in the direction of the 'Reflection Room'.

Detention.

I of course told the teacher what had happened and why everything occured the way it did, and of course I was told I should have left it to the teacher (which, yes, I [we - including the friends who helped me stand up] should have) but the moral of the story is this.

It's okay to be brave, it's okay to stand up to what's right. You don't have to hurt a bully back to make a point, you don't have to point out all the possible insecurities they may have... That will make you a bully.

Fact of the matter is, it's easy to be a bully. But it is also easy to stand up to one. Just try not to get a detention out of it.

What else can you gain from this terribly long story that probably went off topic a million times even after I promsied it wouldn't?

What you say about someone, whether it is to their face or behind their back could ruin their lives forever. It could be the straw that breaks the camels back. It can cause a life of insecurity - something that lasts longer than a joke that lasts five seconds.

Change begins with one person.

Whether it's standing up to a bully, or showing your insecurities to the world in a video that goes viral, you can be the change. It just takes someone to make one decision;

Am I the bully, or am I the change?

Acceptance is change. Teach your children acceptance, and you teach them love.

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This is bravery at its finest.

Matt Diaz, you are doing so much good by doing something so simple - keep working hard, you have a lot of people around the world supporting your journey.

Never be ashamed of who you are - only be proud of what you're capable of.

b